Today

Woke up when Matt left for work, I wanna say 7:30ish, spent an hour emptying my clothes out of laundry baskets & hanging them & arranging them on the shelf. . . Then went running. It had been a whole week since I had gone, which is the first time I have gone a week without working out at least twice since September. No shit. Buuuuut, in my defense, it was Christmas, & I did lift heavy stuff while moving lol. Regardless, it was a bit of a challenge to make myself run today. Did not post very impressive numbers... 4.55 miles in 45 minutes. Meh. Oh well, at least I was still under 10min/mi, even if it was barely. Then went home & finished unpacking/washing the dishes. Wiped down all the appliances & arranged them, cleaned out the microwave, unpacked my new pots & pans, soaked them to remove the copper protectant stuff, took a nice hot bath, & got ready for work. Ate good today, actually. First day I haven't gorged on crap in quite awhile. Felt good. =) Still sitting right @ 175... considering how I've been eating, I can't complain 1 little bit. Gonna try & go back to not eating past 7 again...we'll see how it goes. Anywho, just bored @ work, thought I'd do a quick life/fitness type update. Love and hugs,

s

Holiday Hangover

Day after Christmas 2010. Reflecting over all the things that have happened since my last post. Met my soulmate (wtf you say?) Matthew Mark Paulsen. All the stars in the sky aligned just right one day & now I have this amazing man in my life whom I love with all my heart, & I plan on doing so until the day I die, & then for awhile longer. =) Have been working out semi-regularly since I met him, but the holiday eating got a little out of control. That's ok though, that's what new years resolutions are for, right? Right! Lol. Had a fantastic holiday season so far, soon to be culminated with the new years party @ the Shilo =) Went & saw the forgotten carols, saw santa, made a gingerbread house, made goodie plates, spent lots of time with my amazing boyfriend, & my adorable little son, had a great time @ the family christmas parties. Was a great way to finish off a year that started off completely, horribly, terribly wrong. 

Still stressing about next semester. Renting an apartment in Shelley with Matt, just gonna commute down to Poky 5 days a week. It's gonna be rough, but what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger. Taking 17 credits. A mass comm class, english class, math, spanish, web design, and a weightlifting class. Pretty diverse schedule, so hopefully I can make it through the entire semester in one piece.

I'm looking to the future with a more positive attitude. I'm almost done with school, I'm in love, I have a wonderful family....

ain't nothing stopping this girl now. =)

Whew!

What a day. Woke up WIDE awake @ 4:30, and my parents were already awake too. Something about daylight savings got to us all apparently. I registered for class, then went to the gym. Came home, got ready, went to advising, then class, went home & ate, took a nap, and have been at work ever since. I really don't know what to do about school next semester. I need to just move to Pocatello for the semester, but that would take a TON of support from outside sources. Soooo....I dunno. This is pretty much my last big "push" semester. If I just buckle down & pass the 5 classes I need, I will only have 4 more classes to go. FOUR! It seriously gives me butterflies just thinking about how close I am. If I do move, the problem is, what about Damien? I'm down with staying in Poky M-F coming home sat sun, so I'd just see him on the weekends. However..........

Yeah. I'm kinda tempted to just sink my loans into an apartment & daycare, move D and I to Poky, give Idaho Falls the bird and say "see ya in four months."

However..........

I hate it when no choice is the easy choice, or "right" choice, especially when I do something in good faith & it totally screws me over.

Sigh.

I don't know what to do: I feel like I am worthless, incapable of success, & so weighted down by debt that there is no way I'll ever be out of the red......gargh.

I have two months to decide/come up with a great plan. I just hate not knowing where I'm headed, and what's going to happen, and knowing that I will have to come up with the plan makes me worry about it incessently until I come up with one. Hence this blog, lol. Gonna go browse some fitness sights or something to try and distract myself, and kill the last 1.5 I have left at work.

Until next time-





(ps) My goal this week is to not eat past 7pm and to workout everyday. Really wanna see some results by the end of the year! Must quit making excuses & just FUCKING DO IT!

love.

Vegetarian

So, I told one of my good friends today I was going vegetarian and she said "gross" & "they are going to die anyways" & "god put them here on earth for us to eat." So, the animals have a purpose, to be eaten by us superior anthropoids; what is the human's purpose? To achieve enlightenment, bla, bla, bla? I'm not buying it. As a matter of fact I'm finding it extremely difficult to comprehend just what the hell I'm doing here on earth. Eating other animals, giving them purpose, taking from the land without contributing, and all for the glory of being capable of "enlightenment."

It just doesn't make any sense.

And while yes, all animals die one way or another, & me stopping consuming them is going to have ZERO impact upon the amount of animals who are slaughtered for food, I don't care.

I don't want to be the one on the fork, & I'm not going to consume any living thing which has been subjected to slaughter for my consumption.  Getting ill thinking about the cow I saw with it's head set & ready to be chopped off. I just can't see that as being his true motive for being placed on the earth, & I can't believe in a God who would design such a cruel system. Maybe they are put here just to reach enlightenment, like me.

I don't know. And I don't know why this became so important to me all of a sudden.

But it is. So, here's introducing the new, improved, vegetarian Sasha.

With or without your support.

xoxoxoxo

Food Pyramid

***You won't hurt my feelings if you skip my lengthly introduction and jump down to the charts/plan below.

I've been really looking into the pyramid recommendations given on http://www.mypyramid.gov/ while trying to establish a healthy eating pattern that I can follow; not as a "diet" but as a way of completely overhauling my eating approach. I KNOW from lots and lots of research what is good for me, but if I don't have some sort of PLAN or guide, I make bad decisions. One of the biggest problems I face in sorting out menu guide ideas is I have many foods that are very popular (tomatoes, cottage cheese, bleu cheese, sausage, pork, fish) that I cannot STAND so I always find myself "rearranging" suggested menus which is tiresome & tedious. I put myself to the task of taking the recommended foods from the pyramid list and REMOVING all the things I don't eat either because they are not readily had or I don't prefer them, which left me with a nice concise list of acceptable foods. I took this list and sorted it into four categories (the pyramid has five healthy & a "disgressionary" category) because the three biggies (protein ((meat)), veggies, & carbs) comprise the majority of my nutritional intake I lumped the two smaller (but still important!) categories together so that it's easier to figure out (and works out more evenly). Within each cetegory there are subcategories (whole wheat/refined, fruits/milk, colors of veg, amount of protein (high, mid, low)) that I sample from on different meals/days so that I make sure and cover all my nutrient needs (following recommendations from the food guide, but upping my protein intake cuz I work out/lift weights & ample protein is VERY important).

The result is a wonderfully hybrid way of eating designed SPECIFICALLY for my needs/tastes.

I plan on launching into this new food plan TOMORROW (gonna hit the grocery store tonight & grab a few things I am out of) & following it STRICTLY with NO TREATS until Thanksgiving. I have been eating WAY too much shit lately which has no nutritional value & makes me happy short-term but feeling bloated unsatisfied & fat later on....soo....I'm trying the "cold turkey" *no pun intended* approach for three weeks so I can indulge on Thanksgiving. Depending on the results I see, I'll adjust my plan afterwords.

Whew! Another lengthly explanation of things no one else probably gives a crap about BUT I put alot of thought & work into this so that it would work for me, & now I plan on reaping the rewards. I would REALLY like to see the mid to low seventies by Thanksgiving. . . . here's hoping!

As part of my three week "No treats til Turkey Day" campaign, I plan on updating my blog as much as possible to track my progress. So until next time,

xoxoxo

Sasha

This is my food list, from which I can plan my meals each day. (5 small meals comprising of 1 serving from each of the four categories)

Milk/Fruit(5 serv daily)	Veggies(3 Cups daily)	Grains (8 serv daily)	Protein (100 g daily)
Dairy (3/day)	Dark Green (3/wk)	Whole (4/day)	High (2/day)
3/4 Cup Milk	Broccoli	Oatmeal	Protein Shake* (32)
1/3 Cup Shredded Cheese	Romaine Lettuce	3 Cups Popcorn	4 oz Chx Breast (28)
Yogurt	Spinach	Brown Rice	Mid (1/day)
Fruit (2/day)	Orange (2/wk)	Cereal	**Eggs (18)
Apple	Carrots	Bread	6 Sl. Deli Meat (14)
Orange	Pumpkin	Crackers	1/2 Can Tuna (16)
Sliced Peaches	Sweet Potatoes	Pasta	Low (2/day)
Banana	Starchy (6/wk)	Buns	Nuts (4)
Grapes	Corn	Tortilla	1/2 Cup Beans (7)
Strawberries	Potatoes	Sunchips	2 tbsp. pnt btr (7)
Blueberries	Peas	REFINED (4/day)
Raspberries	Lima Beans (baby)	Cereal
Mango	Dry Beans (3/wk)	White Rice	*made w/1 serv milk
Pineapple	black beans	Pretzles	**three egg whites, 1 whole egg
Pears	black eyed peas	Bread
100% Juice	garbanzo beans	Pasta
	kidney beans	Crackers
	split peas	Rolls
	navy beans
	Others (7/wk)
	asparagus
	bean sprouts
	cauliflower
	celery
	cucumbers
	tomatoes
	green beans
	green or red peppers
	iceberg (head) lettuce
	mushrooms
	onions
	wax beans
	zucchini

Which makes a given day look something like this

	Monday
Wake-up	milk
	whole
	high
AM Meal	fruit
	starchy
	refined
	low
Lunch	fruit
	other
	whole
	mid
Snack	cheese
	dk green
	refined
	low
Dinner	milk
	dry beans
	whole
	high

It doesn't matter in which meal I get which protein etc, so long as I get the right amount of each during the day.

My workout plan is much simpler, 30 weights/30 cardio MWF, 40-60 cardio TTHSAT rest on sunday.
Pretty cool, huh?

losing control

I hate days like today where I feel the stress of life breathing down my neck from the moment I wake up til the moment I finally crawly under those warm covers. I feel overwhelmed, like anything I accomplish is insignificant when compared with all the other problems I must deal with, & I just wanna give up. I keep having days like this more & more lately, & most of the stress stems from my inability to stay out of the red in my checking account.

This constant red is caused by
A) Not making enough money
B) Having way too much debt
C) Spending money I just don't have

I try & try & try & fail & fail & fail.

Sigh.

Skipped class today, felt guilty about that. Had to borrow money from my parents today becuase I blew all my money on California (& thought I had enough, but I forgot about a credit card payment), felt guilty about that. Didn't do any homework, felt guilty about that. Didn't have time to workout cause I was so busy trying to move, & didn't eat good cuz I had a sweet tooth, felt guilty about all that. Honestly, I wish I could find some SHRED of hope to cling to to help me not get so down & feel so HORRIBLE about EVERYTHING, but I don't even have the comfort of warm arms to look forward to. No; single, broke, depressed, & on the verge of tears. Welcome to my 2010.

Was looking forward to going tanning after work BUT my mom and I switched cars today & we couldn't switch back because of technical deficiencies & a lack of communication so since my tanning key is on my keys, & my mom has my keys, I can't go. Hmph. Ok, well, I had to bitch a bit, I feel like I have the world on my shoulders, & talking it out always helps. Since I have no one to talk to (sad) blogging is the next best thing. Thank you technology. Until another day,

xoxox
Sasha

Jillian Michaels Day 4

Ok, so I haven't done it yet on day 4 (I ran a 10k this morning and could not muster up the strength to do another workout right after) but I will as soon as I get off work. And I did do it three days consecutively so far!!! Gonna go tanning after work and then go do the DVD then a quick shower and it's beddy by time for me. I don't work or anything tomorrow, I'll do Jillian in the morning, pry go tanning again, then go pick up D and I have lots and lots and lots of cleaning to do tomorrow. Where I did the 10k today, I don't think I will do another workout other than Jillian tomorrow. Maybe D and I will go for a walk, but that would be it. I'm back down to where I was after my first week of the new year challenge (finally!) it only took me a week to lose it back, which is comforting at least. I really feel like I will FINALLY shed these twenty lbs this time. yayayayay.

"in numeris sita sunt"

I feel like I have something to say, but my ferver is quickly squandered by my inability to form coherent thoughts with said feelings.

Perhaps someday.