Ok, so here we go....

      So, I had another dream about shopping @ a store looking at after-holiday items on clearance. Last nights was halloween decor, but that's all I really remember about it....it was the store where I bought the dishes once in a dream....with all the dishes along the back wall. It's kinda set up as a cross between a craft store & a convenience store....kinda reminded me of the store built on the hill on the road behind my parent's house.
      I also had a dream I was in that strange multi-level house I sometimes have dreams in & the ISU volleyball team was there & the coach was trying to sleep with me & I really didn't want to so I kept avoiding him....but I wanted to be on the team sooooo bad. I seriously dream about volleyball alot. I also had a dream where I was at this black and glass "official" looking building (I've dreamed of it before, but I was on the inside last time), and I was helping a teacher with this little girl, or I was a teacher too or something, and we were waiting in line & this little girl looked up at me with the saddest eyes EVER and showed me where her daddy had hit her and it broke my heart in a trillion pieces & she said, I really wish he'd stop...I looked at the other teacher & she just shrugged like there was nothing she could do & said something about how horrible it was....
     Not a pleasant set of dreams. Woke me up @ 3am all sweaty & stressed & I couldn't fall back asleep. As always, I wonder what they mean, & I wonder why I am starting to dream so much again, especially all these recurring dreams? I shoulda written Monday nights down yesterday, I've forgotten them, I just remember they were premonition's (is that the right word?) again....I haven't had dreams like that in a long while....

hmmmmmmm. Maybe to do with drinking lots of caffeine again? Who knows.

2011: New year, new opportunities.

I know it's a couple days into the year, but better late than never. I don't really want to set a bunch of strict "do this every day & if you don't you're a failure" type resolutions, but I would like to focus on a few areas I think could use a little "tweaking" in my life. I'm thinking that picking one aspect out of different departments of my life would be the best approach (I dunno, making this up as I go lol). 

• Health-
• Nutrition: I have made great improvements in this department, but I don't want to slide down that slippery slope back to yo-yo dieting. That shit was horrible for me & I'm better off eating whatever I want then trying to seriously restrict myself. That was an all-around bad idea. I'd still like to focus on making healthy choices, but I'm not going to do the "binge tonight & starve tomorrow" cycle again. That was bad, bad, bad. So my goal here is to try and make healthy choices most of the time, & not stress when I don't.
• Exercise: I was doing pretty good in this department, but the last few weeks I've been slipping up. My goal is to never go two days in a row without working out @ least thirty minutes. Trying to keep it simple & realistic. This allots for a minimum of three thirty minute workouts a week, which I think is doable, even once I hit "maintenance." While I'm still trying to lose these last 15 lbs, my goal is 3 thirty minute strength (+10 minute (**1-mile) warm-up) & 3 thirty-five minute cardio workouts a week.  I know that's a little more complicated, but I'm not gonna stress it too much so long as I stick to the every other day goal.
• School-
• Homework: I always, always struggle with letting my reading & homework pile up, instead of doing a little here & there when I have time, so I'm going to reallllly try & work on this during my last two semesters. My goal is to not let two days go by without doing homework/reading, if I have something coming up & free time. So kinda like the workout goal, just doing a little something every other day @ least. I realize there are some days I just don't feel like doing anything, but there is no need for a break to be any longer than that.
• Perseverance: This one is pretty easy to say, but hard to do. Don't get any w's this year. Period. The end.
• Personal-
• Attitude: I really struggle with getting snippy with people when I'm upset about something, even if it has nothing to do with them. My goal here is to not try & be rude, short, raise my voice, or otherwise belittle those I'm in contact with, especially my parents 'cuz they are often unduly @ the brunt of my anger.
• Staying up: I get down waaaaaaaaay too easy. The slightest thing can cause me to second guess my self-esteem, my relationships, my choices, my ability to achieve goals etc. I need to stay positive & focused & not let things bring me down. I usually don't stay down long, but for those minutes, hours, days that I am down, those around me suffer, (this being closely related to the above sentiments).  Just because my boyfriend upsets me, doesn't mean we aren't going to make it, just because I'm frustrated & yell @ my son, I'm not a horrible parent, just cuz my friends & I get in a tiff, our friendship is not over & just 'cuz my makeup is a little skiwampis one day, does not mean I'm not beautiful.

Soooo, I guess it's a pretty intense set of goals I just outlined, but seriously, each of them is very important to me, & I feel that these changes I've identified are necessary for my ultimate happiness. So yeah, here's to a happy, healthy, productive, & POSITIVE 2011.

xoxoxox